Fab Friday Five - For the Price of Disney

$2,800....that's the price of our week at Disney for the three of us.  Aria's surprise vacation next year.

Dave mentioned the other day how he was so excited and he wished it was closer than 7 months away. I, on the other hand, merely grunted.  I'm not excited about it.  I don't see it as something amazing...I see it as a week in Hell.  

The "most magical place on Earth" is, as far as I'm concerned, one of Dante's circles of Hell.

Aside from the fact that I do NOT like big crowds with people milling about in every direction 

(I tend to panic, get itchy, and then cry).....

I'm getting itchy and nervous just looking at this.

Aside from the fact that I can't stand spending that kind of money on anything and it physically pains me every month when I make a $200 payment and we still owe $2K ...

Aside from the fact that, while I know our whole vacation will be paid for, we still need to save up a ton of money for souvenirs because Dave is a "souvenir person" so I know we'll be buying a bunch of stuff for him and Aria despite my protests of "but memories are just as good, if not better, than souvenirs"...

Aside from the fact that I'll be pushing a stroller around against my will and will undoubtedly be the one who hangs back from the crowd so as to not get in the other patron's way with my childless stroller and will miss all of Aria's excitement because I'm 10 feet back...

I'm NOT looking forward to this. At all.

Worse than all of that, I'm certain, will be Aria.

I picture her losing her mind in a crowd full of 10,000 people.

I picture her crying on all the rides, ruining all the other patron's times.

I picture her cowering in fear every time we get to the front of the line to meet a Disney Princess.

I picture her screaming every time we tell her we can't buy her something from every kiosk or every store (I don't spoil my child with buying her things every time she asks, but that doesn't stop her from freaking out about it as if she were a spoiled brat).

I picture her not standing still in line and I end up screaming at her in front of 10,000 people.

I know how awful she can be at Target....and how awful she was at Arts in the Heart this past weekend....I picture it being a million times worse at Disney World.

Dave asked me what else we could do, vacation wise, for $2,800.  He implied WITH Aria...all I can think of is doing it WITHOUT Aria.

So here are five other options we could do for around $2,800...sans child.
(according to my search today)

7 night Royal Caribbean Alaska Cruise >> HERE

7 nights....travelling north from Vancouver, Canada to Seward, AK.  Seeing glaciers...and moose...and whales (maybe)....for $806 per person (taxes + fees included)....leaving $1186 for airfare and optional excursions.

10-day tour of Greece >> HERE

Dave and I had a WONDERFUL time on our honeymoon touring Europe!  We met some great folks, saw some beautiful countryside travelling by bus, and had a top-notch tour guide and bus driver!  I would ABSOLUTELY go on another bus tour with COSMOS!  And this one...10 days in Greece...sure it misses out on Crete, Mykonos, and Santorini...but Mykonos is only a 5 hr ferry ride away from Athens :) Anyway....this one may be a little costlier once you figure in airfare and the optional excursions....$1249 per person, leaving only $302 for airfare and excursions

6-night stay in the Maldives >> HERE

Chaaya Lagoon Hakuraa Hurra in the Maldives is the place for me!! An all-inclusive 6-night stay in a private bungalow OVER THE WATER!  HELLO!  Welcome to paradise.....  $367.80/night (no booking fees)....$2200 for Sunday through Saturday, leaving only a little left ($600) for airfare...but wouldn't it be worth it to spend just a little extra for a week-long stay in this place?! OK...so there may be a $426/person fee for floatplane transfer...but that's OK, too!

5-night stay in Aruba >> HERE

A 5 night stay at the Marriott in Oranjestad, Aruba...in a one bedroom ocean-view suite, airfare included from Augusta....$2852.  I'd gladly pay $2800 to share a beach with flamingos :)

12-night Blue Ridge stay >> HERE

We LOVE to vacation in Blue Ridge!  We could stay here for 12 nights ($215/night) for $2580....and we wouldn't have to fly anywhere or spend more than 4 hours in the car!  And...Aria and Sophie could actually come along here!  And that view...the name of this cabin is "Amazing view"...and I know why.  Hot tub...fire pit...king size bed...pool table...and that view.  That beautiful view.  

 Yup...I'd take this over Disney ANY day! 

 Or, we could stay at our regular cabin ($135/night) for 20 nights!  20 nights for $2700!!!

And one more for good measure.....

1 week participation in an archaeological dig in Virginia on the property of James Madison and his slave quarters ($1500, lodging included) (check it out!)

--- Or, for two weeks just one person (me!!!) can participate in a dig at an ancient pottery dump in Rome for $2900...airfare not included

--- Or, for two weeks just one person (me, again!!) can participate in a dig at suspected ancient Mayan ruins in Belize for $1750...airfare also not included

There's a TON of possibilities for $2800 that do NOT include a trip to the most miserable place on Earth.

Sure, it will be nice to see Aria's face light up when she sees the castle that she's seen a bajillion times at the beginning of movies.  And sure it will be nice to catch up on all the Disney movies before we go (so she can be familiar with all the characters).  Of course it'll be a FANTASTIC time if Aria completely surprises me and behaves like the perfect angel I know she can be because I'm told she is at places like school and Grandma's house.

I've been to Disney World once...I was somewhere between the ages of 9 and 12.  I remember a lot of heat, a ton of people, and a TON of time spent waiting in lines.  Lines for the rides...lines for the characters....lines lines lines lines (I said that in my head like when the Grinch says "all the noise noise noise noise...").  I didn't see it as "the happiest place on Earth" or "the place where dreams come true" or "the most magical place on Earth" or "the place where adults can be kids" ....I just didn't see it, even as a kid.

To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it....not at all. (well, aside from Animal Kingdom)

Oh the things we endure for our children....and husbands....

This article right >here< is for Dave.....read it....find a way to CONVINCE ME that it'll be great (and Aria's smiles and excitement don't count).

Inner Musings

First things first....

In the last 48 hours, I've had over 3,300 people view my blog (or maybe the same person just clicked on my links 3,300 times...there's no way to tell)!  That's the most I've EVER had in that short time period!

To be honest...up until a month or so ago, I didn't think anybody outside of family read it, and I kind of thought that even some of them didn't read it.

Thank you, whoever you are, for reading my blog...I'm truly touched!  Wow!

I'm sorry I didn't give you a Fab Friday Five last Friday...I was busy and seriously unmotivated to come up with a list of five things.  I had thought about soups...but as somebody who really doesn't like soup, there aren't that many soups that I like.  I thought about doing something funny, but I haven't seen that many NEW funny things lately.

Our *fine* city had Arts in the Heart this weekend.  It was hot...90° is too hot to have an outdoor festival.  There were sooo many people...I think I read somewhere that attendance records were broken.  And the Barbershop Quartet in the CHILDREN'S SECTION who offered free lemonade if you sang with them, but then denied my child a lemonade after singing because "we're only offering lemonade to the men, not the children"...I could have seriously done without that.  I've never bought anything there before (aside from a piece of name art for Aria's room), and I probably never will because I can't afford any of it.  But I go for the food :)  All the different countries offering authentic international cuisines for your eating pleasure....often times, it's well worth the lines!  I ate the most phenomenal chicken paella and Irish whiskey cake this weekend...SO GOOD!

Today I thought I'd so something that might get me in trouble...well, will probably get me in trouble....but this space is mine to do with what I want, so that's what I'll do.  Everybody has things they say in their heads but never let them escape.  Everybody has those really judgmental things they think to themselves but never actually speak them because, well, it would be mean.

I think I'll get my "mean girl" on today...

Here are some musings from my inner monologue recently.  Enjoy :)

We're getting on the interstate, you should be moving a hell of a lot faster than 55 mph!

Your baby looks like an ugly old man.

Why do you always look like a crack addict in all your Facebook pictures?  Are you, in fact, a crack addict?

For being "such a good Christian", you're actually a really shitty person.

I can tell your hair is dyed...and it looks like shit.

I'm so tired of doing everyone else's work just because they can't manage to do it right on their own.

People who leave their babies in cars should be shot on the spot and left to bleed out for as long as it took their sweet baby to die of heat.

I know you're lying to my face...but that's OK, because I'm better than you.

You're spoiled and your personality shows it.

If I had the authority to fire you, I'd meet you in the parking lot and take care of it before you even came in the building.

You talk an awful lot of shit for someone who never does anything about it.

Guess what you idiot....it does NOT matter what religion POTUS is.

"that person needs to eat a cheeseburger!" --- I wish I looked like her.

What kind of grown woman (with kids, no less!) dresses like a slutty fairy and parades around town for all to see her tatas spilling out all over?  Gross.  You're teaching your little girl to walk around with her boobs out so people can look at her....super great role model.

That art that you're charging $50 for looks more like it shouldn't cost more than $5.

Do you seriously spend all day long getting high and not contributing to society AT ALL? What sort of adult are you?

Yes, I know I'm fat...you don't need to look at me like I'm disgusting; I already know I am.

You're bat-shit crazy.

I think it's disgusting how you post a bunch of Christian things and then post a bunch of really judgmental and hateful things right after it.  Doesn't Christianity teach us to love all of God's creations?  I'm pretty sure Jesus would be upset to hear how hateful you're being to others simply because they're different from you.  

I feel like shit...but I'm putting my big girl panties on and dealing with it because I'm a woman and that's what I do.  (But I'd much rather be at home in bed.)

Would you SERIOUSLY rather spend your money on drugs than on your beautiful kids?

The way you walk makes it look like you're constantly holding in a fart.

Everyone knows you're a habitual liar....we all just expect it now...and nobody ever believes a word that comes out of your mouth.

It's amazing how rude and disrespectful you are...and you don't even realize it.

I'm pretty sure almost every republican has their head stuck WAY UP in their ass.

I'm pretty sure any supporter of Trump has some sort of mental disability that keeps their brain from functioning...at all.

The only reason why you still have a job, according to those of us who observe how awful you are every day, is because the supervisor's are afraid you'll sue them for discrimination if they fire you.

You look WAAAAAY older than you really are.

If I have to show you how to do this one more time, I'm going to lose my shit.

And last...but not least....the words that I probably repeat in my head more times than anything else...

Are you kidding me?  Are you fucking kidding me?!  

HAVE A GREAT WEEK, FOLKS!

Convos With My Kid

The Sunday before picture day, Aria and I went to Target to pick out a cute outfit.  She was extra excited because we were shopping in the "big girl" department.  She spent most of the time trying to piss me off by moving around the racks where I couldn't see her, but she helped pick out her outfit.

The outfit chosen was a teal skirt with some darker hearts on it (she picked the skirt), a lavender camisole (she picked the color), and dark grey crop shirt to go over the whole thing.  I showed her, SEVERAL times how the outfit would be constructed .... she repeatedly told me how much she loved it and how cute it was.

Fast forward two days to the morning of picture day, 6:20 AM.

On a typical day, I get her up at 6:20, we're downstairs by 6:30, we leave by 6:40/45.  I have to be at work by 7:30

M:  Aria honey, it's time to get up....today's picture day!
A: ....
M:  Aria....come on honey, it's time to wake up.  We have to get you ready for picture day!
A:  *squirm*
M:  Come on now Aria, it's time to get up, we've got to get moving.  *pull the blanket off*
A:  *squirm and stretch, snuggle up with Giraffe, reach for blanket*
M:  Aria.  I'm not kidding, it's time to get up.  *mildly yanks blanket off*
A:  Ugh!  Mom, no.  *reaches for blanket and pulls over head*
M:  Alright Aria, I'm done.  Time to get up! *pulls Giraffe off bed, yanks blanket down past her feet*
A:  Mom!  I'm cold!  I'm still sleepy!!
M:  Too bad Aria...we get up at this time every morning, it's time to get up.
A: Uh, I don't wanna!
M:  Too bad!  Today's picture day.  You have to get up, get dressed in your pretty picture day outfit, and mommy has to do something with your hair.
A:  Fine.  (6:30 AM)
M:  *jam jams off, puts socks on, puts skirt on, puts purple camisole on*....*puts grey crop shirt on*
A:  Mom! I don't like it!  I don't wanna wear it! *tries to take crop shirt off*
M:  Aria!  What are you doing?  Knock it off, this is what you're wearing today.
A:  NO!  It's not cute and I don't like it! *still trying to take shirt off*
M:  Aria Lucy! Stop that right now!  You're wearing this shirt today! And it's extremely cute...you helped pick it out!
A:  NO!  I don't like it!  Grandma said it's OK to just wear tank tops to school!  I don't have to wear it and I'm not going to!  *finally gets crop shirt off*
M:  ARIA! KNOCK IT OFF!  You're wearing this shirt today!  I don't care what Grandma says about wearing tank tops to school, today you're wearing a shirt over it!  I showed you over and over at Target how this was going to look, and you said it was cute!
A:  It's NOT!  I don't like it!  It's GREY!  Grey is a boy color and I DON'T LIKE BOY COLORS!!
M:  Oh my God, Aria!  This is ridiculous! You knew what color the shirt was on Sunday when we bought it!  You said it was cute!  Besides, you have plenty of other grey shirts! *tries to cram shirt back over her head* (6:40 AM) 
A:  NO!  They're different!  I don't like it!  *blocks the shirt*
M:  DAMMIT ARIA, YOU'RE WEARING THIS SHIRT! *crams back over head*
A:  NO!! I DON'T WANNA!
M:  Aria!  Come on now.  You just have to wear it until the pictures, then you can take it off.
A:  *sobbing now*  TEACHER WON'T LET US TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF!!
M:  Oh my goodness, Aria.  You're wearing this shirt.  Mommy's very mad right now...and late...and you're being a real pain in the rear.  Now put on this shirt!
A:  FINE! *succeeds in getting shirt back on*
M:  Thank you. (SWEET VICTORY!)  Now turn around so we can do your hair. Do you want it in a bun or a pony or half up/half down...it's for picture day, so it has to look nice.
A:  Hmph.  I don't care.
M:  Aria...don't be like that.  How do you want your hair?
A:  I'm mad, so I don't care.
M:  FINE!  A pony it is! HOLD STILL!
A:  *squirm squirm squirm* ..... *manages lopsided pony*
M:  You wouldn't hold still, so it's crooked...too bad, we're late! (6:50 AM)

That little brat walked downstairs "hmph"ing the whole way.

M:  Aria, what do you want to have for snack on the way to school?  Hurry up and think fast, we're late.
A:  A bagel.
M:  No.  I told you we were late...you get muffins!
A:  FINE!
M:  Do you want apple juice?
A:  Yes.
M:  Let's take a picture real quick for Grandma...she always likes to see how cute you are on picture day.
A:  Well I'm not cute today, so no.
M:  Come on Aria...Grandma is going to want to see your cute outfit!
A:  It's not cute, but fine.  She can only see the back, though...because it's not cute and I'm mad!
M:  Fine...I'll take it.  We're late anyway.

I pulled out of the driveway that day at 7:00 AM.  We didn't talk much on the way to school.  She didn't race me to the door like she usually does.  She gave me a hug and kiss goodbye, but wasn't her typical self.  I left out of there convinced one of several things would be true for the rest of the day:

1.  By the time I went to pick her up, there'd be no grey shirt.

2.  When I got her pictures back, there'd be no grey shirt.

3.  When I got her pictures back, there'd be a grey shirt, but she'd look pissed.

I was 22 minutes late for work that day. 

When I went to pick her up...she was in a good mood...had her grey shirt still on...and the preview of her pictures had her grey shirt AND a smile.  We took the grey shirt off at home...and she made sure to inform me.... "mommy, the only person who said I looked cute was the picture lady, and she tells everybody they look cute."

Brat.

I'm pretty sure she poked out her belly on purpose...

This is not "giraffe" from the story above

There it is...that sassy smile.

And just for fun....this is a picture Aria brought home from school one day that she was super proud of.

"This is a police truck.  The two in the front are cops, and there's one in the back because he's going to jail."

... we watch a lot of COPS in our house :)