3.31.2015

Full Blown Spring

Hey folks.  There's no question about it, we're in full blown spring down here in Georgia.

By the way, spring is NOT my favorite season.  It is, in fact, runner up for last place (eff you summer...I hate you).

Spring for most of the rest of the country means the last little bit of snow melting away (or maybe even the last snow storm of the season), daily high temperatures finally raising into the 60's, trees beginning to get their green leaves, grass beginning to come out of it's dormancy, and the first sprouting of new flowers (followed by bees...so many bees).

But here in the south, spring looks a little different.  It didn't snow at all this year, so there's no snow to melt.  The temperature has already been fluctuating for a month and this week we're "blessed" with temperatures up in the 80's (though it's still 45 in the morning).  The trees have not only gotten their green leaves, but have already nearly finished blooming.  The flowers have been growing since February (because southern flowers are dumb and think winter is the best time for blooming).  I've already missed my window for spring planting because now it's too damn hot to start new flowers.  The grass has been growing like crazy for a few weeks already.  The bees and wasps are out in full strength and are starting to make their homes in such horrible places as our bird house that is MEANT FOR THE DAMN BIRDS (not you, you stupid paper wasp)! The rain...so much rain (the number 2 reason why I hate spring so much...I'm not meant for the rain...I melt). And, to top it all off, there is a generous coating of yellow dust covering the whole city (probably the whole state....the whole regional maybe) like a blanket of death.  Pine pollen...blech!

With all the above "springtime niceties" comes my damn allergies.  Thank you, Georgia, for making me allergic to pretty much everything in the environment.  Lived in Wisconsin, no allergies.  Moved to GA, allergies every season of the year (just one more reason to add to the WHY I WANT TO MOVE BACK HOME list).

I can't breathe because my lungs are full of dust that turns into a nasty gooey mess.  I can't breathe because my nose is full of pollen boogers (grossed out yet?).  My face hurts because my sinuses are full of pollen.  My throat is in a perpetual state of scratchy because it's coated with pollen.  My eyes are extra itchy and watering like crazy because all the pollen in them feels like grains of sand floating around every time my eyes move.  The piece de resistance:  2...TWO...cold sores at the same time.

Some people get cold sores when they have a cold. Not me, no, that would be silly.  I get cold sores for one of three reasons:  1-I'm under a lot stress, 2-I'm coming out from being under a lot of stress, 3-PINE POLLEN.  One day outside with bare lips (because I accidentally left my chapstick at home when we went to the mud bog) and I woke up this morning with two cold sores.  Yesterday they were chapped and I was lathering on my favorite sweet mint EOS lip balm like it was going out of style, and sadly it was all for naught.

I made it through 5 months of cancer hell with the most stress I've ever had in my entire life and never once got a cold sore.  One week into pollen season, and I've got two.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!  We're going to Florida this weekend for Passover.  Oh, a vacation?  Time for cold sores!

(On a side note, after having spent a little over a week reducing my gluten intake, I can now see the veins in my feet again, see my ankles, and I can move my feet without them being in excruciating pain.  It would appear that gluten was, in fact, the cause of my extreme swelling.  I intend to maintain a reduced-gluten lifestyle from here on out.  I can't cut it completely out, that's just ludicrous!)


This, my friends, is why I hate spring nearly as much as I hate summer.



*Sneezes* Ach, I feel it... Damn the south and all of this pollen crap.

3.27.2015

Fab Friday FUNNY Five

I'm not gonna lie...I was laying in bed last night looking at Pinterest and Dave asked what I was doing..."Looking at Pinterest because I have no idea what to use as a theme for tomorrow's FFF post."

So there you have it: today's post was spur of the moment and not premeditated at all 
(shut up, I don't care that you think I'm lazy).

First, an itty bitty update on Dave:  He mentioned the other day that it was almost time for a haircut.  And FYI, it's been 14 weeks since the end of his last chemo treatment and his skin still smells like nasty nasty chemo.  According to a cancer caregiver support group I belong to on Facebook, his skin might smell like chemo for another 3 months.  Gross.

So today's FFF is five of the things that I've pinned to my "Just Awesome" board on Pinterest that made me laugh today (well I thought they were funny anyway) .  Enjoy :) 

>> SPOILER ALERT:  It's actually more than five...I couldn't pick just five! <<

((I apologize in advance if anybody get's offended by the language...there's something for you at the end))


Hungry hungry hippo! HAHA!

Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave.

hahaha

Can you handle the hotness?

Legit


I never thought about this... LMAO!

AHHAHAHA!!!


And if you got offended...this one is just for you!  I won't censor myself to please others.
Fact. ;)

 I hope you smiled at least once!

Have a great weekend, folks! 
Maybe it'll rain so much that all the pine pollen will be magically washed away and won't get all up in my sinuses!

3.24.2015

Convos with my Kid

It's been about a month since I last shared with you the wisdom that falls out of my child's mouth, so it must be time to have another installment of CONVOS WITH MY KID!

A Lesson on Anatomy
A:  I didn't like that meatball.
M:  Which one?
A:  The one I already ate.
M:  Oh.
A:  You can't see it, it's in my body.


A Lesson on Sugar
A:  Grandma, what are you doing?
G:  I'm checking my blood.
A:  Checking your blood?  For what?
G:  To see how much sugar I have in my blood.
A:  Sugar?  Are you checking to see how fat you are?
**The Bearenstain Bears taught us in "Too Much Junk Food" that too many sugary sweets are unhealthy and make us gain weight like the cubs and Papa Bear...so it's only fair that if we have sugar in our blood, we are unhealthy and gaining weight.**


A Lesson on Singing
G:  Let's all sing "Happy Birthday" to Papa!
A:  OK!
*everybody starts singing*
A:  No!  I'm not gonna sing!!


A Lesson on Swimming
M:  Aria, grandma signed you up for swimming lessons!
A:  She did?!!! YAY!  I can't wait!
M:  So you're going to brave, right?
A:  Oh yes mommy.  But do they have a kiddie pool?
M:  Well no, you can't learn how to swim in water that only comes to your knees.
A:  But mommy, who's going to hold me hand?
M:  You'll be holding onto the wall, not somebody's hand.  You're going to be alright.
A:  OK.  We have to bring my towel and my swimsuit and my floaties and my turtle and my water shoes and we have to buy a face mask and some flippers so I can swim VERY fast.


A Lesson on Cars
A:  Mommy, do you know what kind of car I want when I'm older?  I want a really really really really really really really really really big car and a really really really really really really really really fast car.
M:  OK honey, we'll see.
A:  Mommy, I like this car.  Can this be my car when I'm older?
M:  Well dear, probably not.  It's going to be at least 12 years before you're driving and I don't think I'm going to still have this car in 12 years.
A:  Well mommy, you can get a new car and then you can save this one for me and then I can have it when I'm older.
A:  *under her breath* This is going to be MY car!


A Lesson on Shows
A:  Mommy, what are you doing?
M:  I'm going through the DVR and deleting the shows we don't watch anymore.
A:  But mommy, don't delete that show I watched yesterday!!
M:  Um....which show honey?
A:  The doctor one!
M:  Oh!  You liked that show?
A:  Oh yes, I did!
A:  But mommy, do you know what's better than people doctor shows?
M:  What?
A:  ANIMAL doctor shows!
**Aria has taken a strong liking to medical shows.  She LOVES to watch Grey's Anatomy with us and has a million and one questions about the medical procedures they're doing.  In fact, she points out that we can't watch the next episode without her because she wants to see what's going to happen.  She also loves to watch Night Shift, but hasn't asked any questions yet.  She also watches The Incredible Dr. Pol with my mom and loves that, too.  Maybe she'll be a doctor one day :) **

Yes. I absolutely did know that. Actually, I'm surprised that number is not higher.