Inner Musings

First things first....

In the last 48 hours, I've had over 3,300 people view my blog (or maybe the same person just clicked on my links 3,300 times...there's no way to tell)!  That's the most I've EVER had in that short time period!

To be honest...up until a month or so ago, I didn't think anybody outside of family read it, and I kind of thought that even some of them didn't read it.

Thank you, whoever you are, for reading my blog...I'm truly touched!  Wow!

I'm sorry I didn't give you a Fab Friday Five last Friday...I was busy and seriously unmotivated to come up with a list of five things.  I had thought about soups...but as somebody who really doesn't like soup, there aren't that many soups that I like.  I thought about doing something funny, but I haven't seen that many NEW funny things lately.

Our *fine* city had Arts in the Heart this weekend.  It was hot...90° is too hot to have an outdoor festival.  There were sooo many people...I think I read somewhere that attendance records were broken.  And the Barbershop Quartet in the CHILDREN'S SECTION who offered free lemonade if you sang with them, but then denied my child a lemonade after singing because "we're only offering lemonade to the men, not the children"...I could have seriously done without that.  I've never bought anything there before (aside from a piece of name art for Aria's room), and I probably never will because I can't afford any of it.  But I go for the food :)  All the different countries offering authentic international cuisines for your eating pleasure....often times, it's well worth the lines!  I ate the most phenomenal chicken paella and Irish whiskey cake this weekend...SO GOOD!

Today I thought I'd so something that might get me in trouble...well, will probably get me in trouble....but this space is mine to do with what I want, so that's what I'll do.  Everybody has things they say in their heads but never let them escape.  Everybody has those really judgmental things they think to themselves but never actually speak them because, well, it would be mean.

I think I'll get my "mean girl" on today...

Here are some musings from my inner monologue recently.  Enjoy :)

We're getting on the interstate, you should be moving a hell of a lot faster than 55 mph!

Your baby looks like an ugly old man.

Why do you always look like a crack addict in all your Facebook pictures?  Are you, in fact, a crack addict?

For being "such a good Christian", you're actually a really shitty person.

I can tell your hair is dyed...and it looks like shit.

I'm so tired of doing everyone else's work just because they can't manage to do it right on their own.

People who leave their babies in cars should be shot on the spot and left to bleed out for as long as it took their sweet baby to die of heat.

I know you're lying to my face...but that's OK, because I'm better than you.

You're spoiled and your personality shows it.

If I had the authority to fire you, I'd meet you in the parking lot and take care of it before you even came in the building.

You talk an awful lot of shit for someone who never does anything about it.

Guess what you idiot....it does NOT matter what religion POTUS is.

"that person needs to eat a cheeseburger!" --- I wish I looked like her.

What kind of grown woman (with kids, no less!) dresses like a slutty fairy and parades around town for all to see her tatas spilling out all over?  Gross.  You're teaching your little girl to walk around with her boobs out so people can look at her....super great role model.

That art that you're charging $50 for looks more like it shouldn't cost more than $5.

Do you seriously spend all day long getting high and not contributing to society AT ALL? What sort of adult are you?

Yes, I know I'm fat...you don't need to look at me like I'm disgusting; I already know I am.

You're bat-shit crazy.

I think it's disgusting how you post a bunch of Christian things and then post a bunch of really judgmental and hateful things right after it.  Doesn't Christianity teach us to love all of God's creations?  I'm pretty sure Jesus would be upset to hear how hateful you're being to others simply because they're different from you.  

I feel like shit...but I'm putting my big girl panties on and dealing with it because I'm a woman and that's what I do.  (But I'd much rather be at home in bed.)

Would you SERIOUSLY rather spend your money on drugs than on your beautiful kids?

The way you walk makes it look like you're constantly holding in a fart.

Everyone knows you're a habitual liar....we all just expect it now...and nobody ever believes a word that comes out of your mouth.

It's amazing how rude and disrespectful you are...and you don't even realize it.

I'm pretty sure almost every republican has their head stuck WAY UP in their ass.

I'm pretty sure any supporter of Trump has some sort of mental disability that keeps their brain from functioning...at all.

The only reason why you still have a job, according to those of us who observe how awful you are every day, is because the supervisor's are afraid you'll sue them for discrimination if they fire you.

You look WAAAAAY older than you really are.

If I have to show you how to do this one more time, I'm going to lose my shit.

And last...but not least....the words that I probably repeat in my head more times than anything else...

Are you kidding me?  Are you fucking kidding me?!  

HAVE A GREAT WEEK, FOLKS!

Convos With My Kid

The Sunday before picture day, Aria and I went to Target to pick out a cute outfit.  She was extra excited because we were shopping in the "big girl" department.  She spent most of the time trying to piss me off by moving around the racks where I couldn't see her, but she helped pick out her outfit.

The outfit chosen was a teal skirt with some darker hearts on it (she picked the skirt), a lavender camisole (she picked the color), and dark grey crop shirt to go over the whole thing.  I showed her, SEVERAL times how the outfit would be constructed .... she repeatedly told me how much she loved it and how cute it was.

Fast forward two days to the morning of picture day, 6:20 AM.

On a typical day, I get her up at 6:20, we're downstairs by 6:30, we leave by 6:40/45.  I have to be at work by 7:30

M:  Aria honey, it's time to get up....today's picture day!
A: ....
M:  Aria....come on honey, it's time to wake up.  We have to get you ready for picture day!
A:  *squirm*
M:  Come on now Aria, it's time to get up, we've got to get moving.  *pull the blanket off*
A:  *squirm and stretch, snuggle up with Giraffe, reach for blanket*
M:  Aria.  I'm not kidding, it's time to get up.  *mildly yanks blanket off*
A:  Ugh!  Mom, no.  *reaches for blanket and pulls over head*
M:  Alright Aria, I'm done.  Time to get up! *pulls Giraffe off bed, yanks blanket down past her feet*
A:  Mom!  I'm cold!  I'm still sleepy!!
M:  Too bad Aria...we get up at this time every morning, it's time to get up.
A: Uh, I don't wanna!
M:  Too bad!  Today's picture day.  You have to get up, get dressed in your pretty picture day outfit, and mommy has to do something with your hair.
A:  Fine.  (6:30 AM)
M:  *jam jams off, puts socks on, puts skirt on, puts purple camisole on*....*puts grey crop shirt on*
A:  Mom! I don't like it!  I don't wanna wear it! *tries to take crop shirt off*
M:  Aria!  What are you doing?  Knock it off, this is what you're wearing today.
A:  NO!  It's not cute and I don't like it! *still trying to take shirt off*
M:  Aria Lucy! Stop that right now!  You're wearing this shirt today! And it's extremely cute...you helped pick it out!
A:  NO!  I don't like it!  Grandma said it's OK to just wear tank tops to school!  I don't have to wear it and I'm not going to!  *finally gets crop shirt off*
M:  ARIA! KNOCK IT OFF!  You're wearing this shirt today!  I don't care what Grandma says about wearing tank tops to school, today you're wearing a shirt over it!  I showed you over and over at Target how this was going to look, and you said it was cute!
A:  It's NOT!  I don't like it!  It's GREY!  Grey is a boy color and I DON'T LIKE BOY COLORS!!
M:  Oh my God, Aria!  This is ridiculous! You knew what color the shirt was on Sunday when we bought it!  You said it was cute!  Besides, you have plenty of other grey shirts! *tries to cram shirt back over her head* (6:40 AM) 
A:  NO!  They're different!  I don't like it!  *blocks the shirt*
M:  DAMMIT ARIA, YOU'RE WEARING THIS SHIRT! *crams back over head*
A:  NO!! I DON'T WANNA!
M:  Aria!  Come on now.  You just have to wear it until the pictures, then you can take it off.
A:  *sobbing now*  TEACHER WON'T LET US TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF!!
M:  Oh my goodness, Aria.  You're wearing this shirt.  Mommy's very mad right now...and late...and you're being a real pain in the rear.  Now put on this shirt!
A:  FINE! *succeeds in getting shirt back on*
M:  Thank you. (SWEET VICTORY!)  Now turn around so we can do your hair. Do you want it in a bun or a pony or half up/half down...it's for picture day, so it has to look nice.
A:  Hmph.  I don't care.
M:  Aria...don't be like that.  How do you want your hair?
A:  I'm mad, so I don't care.
M:  FINE!  A pony it is! HOLD STILL!
A:  *squirm squirm squirm* ..... *manages lopsided pony*
M:  You wouldn't hold still, so it's crooked...too bad, we're late! (6:50 AM)

That little brat walked downstairs "hmph"ing the whole way.

M:  Aria, what do you want to have for snack on the way to school?  Hurry up and think fast, we're late.
A:  A bagel.
M:  No.  I told you we were late...you get muffins!
A:  FINE!
M:  Do you want apple juice?
A:  Yes.
M:  Let's take a picture real quick for Grandma...she always likes to see how cute you are on picture day.
A:  Well I'm not cute today, so no.
M:  Come on Aria...Grandma is going to want to see your cute outfit!
A:  It's not cute, but fine.  She can only see the back, though...because it's not cute and I'm mad!
M:  Fine...I'll take it.  We're late anyway.

I pulled out of the driveway that day at 7:00 AM.  We didn't talk much on the way to school.  She didn't race me to the door like she usually does.  She gave me a hug and kiss goodbye, but wasn't her typical self.  I left out of there convinced one of several things would be true for the rest of the day:

1.  By the time I went to pick her up, there'd be no grey shirt.

2.  When I got her pictures back, there'd be no grey shirt.

3.  When I got her pictures back, there'd be a grey shirt, but she'd look pissed.

I was 22 minutes late for work that day. 

When I went to pick her up...she was in a good mood...had her grey shirt still on...and the preview of her pictures had her grey shirt AND a smile.  We took the grey shirt off at home...and she made sure to inform me.... "mommy, the only person who said I looked cute was the picture lady, and she tells everybody they look cute."

Brat.

I'm pretty sure she poked out her belly on purpose...

This is not "giraffe" from the story above

There it is...that sassy smile.

And just for fun....this is a picture Aria brought home from school one day that she was super proud of.

"This is a police truck.  The two in the front are cops, and there's one in the back because he's going to jail."

... we watch a lot of COPS in our house :)

Tremendous Friday Ten - THINGS I'M LOVIN'

I didn't do a FFF last Friday, so this week you get 10 super-great things!  No specific theme...just things I'm loving RIGHT now.  Enjoy :)

Cilantro Lime Skillet Chicken >> recipe HERE

If I could make this every day, I'm pretty sure I would.  You cook the chicken in a cast-iron skillet, remove it, then add shallots, butter, cilantro, cream, broth, and lime juice and cook until reduced.  Then you add the chicken back in and plop it in the oven for a bit.  Oh man...the lime juice, when cooked, ends up tasting really sweet instead of sour.  And of course, as with anything involving cilantro, the more you use...the better it tastes!  Serve it with veggies if you're healthy, or pasta if you like to eat tasty things...yum!

recipe >> HERE

OK, I realize I can't cook that last one every night...so I'll switch it up with this wonderful meal!  First off, the recipe calls for homemade pasta...ain't nobody got time for that!  But it's grilled chicken (super easy and fast if you use an indoor grill) with garlic and herb seasoning, then it's pasta (I use linguine) with basil, lemon zest, tomatoes (I use canned because I'm lazy), the juice of a whole lemon (the recipe says half...but that's stupid) and butter.  Another yum :)

Jigsaw Puzzle Plus app for iPad >> read about it here

I love to do puzzles...but I love even more to do puzzles while sitting on my couch watching TV without having to keep the cats off a puzzle table.  This is THE BEST puzzle app.  The app is free, there are TONS (and I mean TONS AND TONS) of puzzle packages you can download...for free (there are some for pay).  You can sort the pieces by edges or regular, you can change the number of puzzle pieces, you can set if you want the pieces to be able to rotate or not, and all the pieces are arranged in a line down the right-hand side of the screen on a scroll bar.  It has an ad bar on the left, but you can pay to remove it.  It's not the most challenging as I think the highest number of pieces is just over 500, but it's something nice and easy and relaxing.  The puzzles are lovely and come in a variety of categories (all of the puzzles Aria picked out on her iPad are all animals).  If you like puzzles, it's a must-have!

    

I found this to be WAY too funny...Jacki didn't think it was funny at all when I sent it to her.  Look...I know I'm the fat friend...I don't need anybody to spare my feelings on it...and I KNOW I'm hilarious!! Plus, Dave totally did the Truffle Shuffle in the kitchen the other night!

Home Free  >> Wednesdays on FOX

This show y'all...it gives me ALL the feels!  It's almost over, but if you get the chance to go back and watch it, DO IT!  There's 9 couples...each week, they move to a different house in Atlanta to fix it up.  They're responsible for all kinds of home-building things...decorating, making furniture...drywalling, painting, you name it...they do it.  Each week, the most under-performing couple is sent home.  The prize at the end:  a custom-built brand new home.  THE BEST PART...each week, when a couple gets sent home, that couple actually wins the house that they just got finished rebuilding!  It's so emotional...I cry so much!  I just love it...Dave loves it...even Aria loves it!  I'm the only one that cries, though...

Under-cabinet storage >> here's DIY instructions

I totally want to do this in the kitchen.  All that wasted space under the cabinets that could be utilized to hold my baking sheets, my wire cooling racks, random odds and ends that don't do anything except take up space in a drawer.  These would be GREAT!

Look at this cheese board!

Last fall I had wanted to plan a tapas dinner party at my house for my family...but then cancer happened, so I had to 86 that plan.  But this year...I can do it this year!  I've not finalized my plans yet, but I know I want a killer cheese board...and look at this one.  It's got the cheese, the fruit, the honey, the prosciutto, nuts...the soft cheese, the hard cheese....I just can't get over how awesome this cheese board looks and I'm using it (and definitely some others) as my inspiration for my tapas party!

    

This makes me laugh so hard...because it's TOTALLY legit!

purchase >> HERE

A first-person fiction novel about developing Alzheimers, living with it, struggling to keep your memories, and dealing with family and caregivers as you're slowly losing your mind...while knowing there's nothing you can do about it.  I literally just started it last night and I'm really excited about it!  The first thing that lets Ms. Lillie Claire know she's losing it is that she loses her keys and her mini wallet...which she subsequently finds in the vegetable crisper in her fridge.  The author uses the weather of the day as a metaphor....bright, cloudless sky quickly becomes dull and full of clouds that block the light she once saw...just beautiful!

Locations in Augusta and Columbus...visit the website >> HERE

Popcorn is seriously my favorite snack!  I'm pretty sure it's my biggest guilty pleasure.  Some people eat too many cookies....I eat too much popcorn.  Whenever we go to a movie, even if I've just gotten done eating dinner, I'll order the large popcorn with layered butter because 1) there's no greater sorrow then getting 2 inches down into your popcorn just to find out there's no more butter and 2) the smaller bags would suffice, but they leak...the large tub doesn't.  I always eat too much and complain of a tummy ache later.  Anyway, this store is my crutch.  Luckily, it's located by the big Regal theatre, so I don't go there very often.  But I just love this store.  You walk in, they give you a menu and a marker, and you circle three flavors you'd like to try...and by try, I mean sample...for free.  Then you pick what you want, the size you want to buy, they go in the back and fix it up, and you're on your way.  My favorite flavor is the movie theatre butter...it's buttery and yummy and goes perfect with a RedBox!

Have a phenomenal weekend, folks!

Maybe next week I'll honor you with a conversation .... argument ... Aria and I had on picture day last week about her outfit that she herself helped pick out!