D-Day + 365

One year ago today was Dave's first day of chemo.

(read about it here >> D-Day)

Looking back on it, we were so oblivious and uneducated.  Of course, we're not doctors...but we had both done TONS of research on it...not to mention all the countless episodes of ER and Greys Anatomy we had both seen (because those are SUPER-CREDIBLE sources!).  Dave had asked his doctor if, after chemo for the day, he could go to work if he was feeling up to it.  The doctor kind of made a face...like "how in the hell do you think you'll be able to do that?", but said that he supposed it would be OK if Dave thought he was capable. 

We knew that we were clueless, but really, we had no idea just how clueless we were.

That first day was the only day that I stayed with him the whole day.

There was no room in the infusion room for guests, so I stayed out in the waiting room reading and doing a puzzle.  I went in and checked on him a few times.  I brought him and another young man in there lunch (I still feel bad for forgetting that guy's ketchup).  Afterwards we went home thinking "Gee, that wasn't SO bad."  And that evening wasn't bad.  It wasn't until after dinner that he felt a little "blech".  

That was the last day he came home from chemo feeling good.

A year later...and when I think about that first day, I still think to myself "man, we really had no idea what was ahead."

That first day of chemo was nothing like every subsequent day.  The other 15 days of chemo were pure torture for him.

It's funny when I think about the past year of my life....this is my sequence of events:

"Dave got a local job in the middle of last summer, and then cancer happened."  That's literally how I described the last year when talking with my mom this morning.  It's amazing how one little 2.7cm tumor and 16 days of poison can consume your life so much that it becomes the only way to characterize a time frame.

It feels like a lifetime away, but at the same time, it feels like it just happened yesterday.

And it wasn't even happening to me; I was just the bystander.

I can't imagine how the last year feels like for Dave.

On a side note...the blog turns "1" in a couple days...so expect a "happy birthday" post!