Conversations With My Three Year Old

Now that Dave is feeling SO much better and headed off to work today, I'm going to take a day to write about my kid.  Not because I'm one of those moms who's all "Look at my kid...she's the best kid ever!" because let's face it...on any given day, she's often times NOT the best kid ever!  But she's quite witty and rather funny for a 3 year old ("No, three and a half" as she would say) and she brings me joy on days where I just want to be mad.  So here's some funny things that she's been doing/saying lately.  Enjoy!

A:  Mommy, what's that over there?  Put my window down, I can't see it!

M:  It's a construction site.  They're building a gas station.

A:  A CONSTRUCTION SITE?!! Where's my camera?! Mommy, I need to take a picture of it!

A:  Mommy, I see Christmas lights.  CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!!

M:  Baby girl, I don't see any Christmas lights...where are you looking?

A:  Down there mommy!  They're white!  CHRISTMAS IS COMING!! YAY!!

M:  Oh honey...those aren't Christmas lights...those are just cars.

A:  Oh. Look mommy, I see a Christmas tree.  CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!

A:  Look mommy...a penguin truck!! It has penguins in it!! (Dry ice truck had penguins on the back)

M:  I know it may seem like that honey, but it's just an ice truck.  There's no penguins in it.  I'm sorry.

A:  Ice truck?  It has ice in it?

M:  Yes honey, it has ice in it.  A special kind of ice. (because I don't really know how to explain 'dry ice')

A:  Special ice?

M:  Yes, it's used to keep things really really cold, 

A:  Like what?

M:  ....uh....Well honey, mommy's work uses it.  When people come to give some blood for the patients in the hospitals, we put that blood in a box and fill it with that special ice so it stays really cold on its way to the hospital. (I left out the component processing part...she's 3)

A:  Who else uses that special ice?

M: ....uh....I don't know honey.

A:  I know mommy!  The zoo uses it...for the penguins!  That truck is going to the zoo!

A:  Mommy, I went poop! Come wipe my butt.

M:  Aria, if only you could learn to wipe your own butt....

A:  Look mommy, I only went one poop today!

M: ...uh...I didn't know you were in the habit of counting your poop.

A:  Yes mommy, sometimes I go five poops.

M:  Um.....OK.

M:  Aria, go brush your teeth so daddy and I can talk about Christmas.

A:  Christmas?  I want to talk about Christmas!

M:  Mommy and daddy are going to talk about what you might get for Christmas, so you need to go to the bathroom and brush your teeth because you can't hear what we might get you.

A: OK mommy, but don't starting talking about Christmas until I get back!

A:  I want a choo choo train, and a princess toy, and a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Paw Patrol.

M:  Ok, so you want a train, a princess toy, a mickey mouse toy, and a paw patrol toy.

A: Yeah...but I want Ariel.  I have to have the clubhouse for all of Mickey's friends to live in.  And I need the Lookout for my paw patrol toys.  And Zuma and Rocky because I don't have them yet.

M:  Oh....

A:  Mommy, my camera isn't working.  It won't take my picture, see?

M:  Well no honey, I don't see, mommy is driving.  But maybe your camera has too many pictures on it and you need to delete some.

A:  Delete?

M:  Yes.  You need to look through your pictures and when you find one you don't want anymore, you hit the red "X" button.

A:  Oh ok. ..... I don't need this picture, it's a baby picture, and I'm a big girl, so I don't need it anymore.  Delete!

A:  Delete...delete...delete...delete...delete... (and on and on and on)

A:  Now I can take more pictures, mommy!  Mommy, say cheese!

M:  Baby I can't...mommy's still driving.

A:  Mommy, look at me! SAY CHEESE!

M:  Aria, it's past your bedtime.  We HAVE to get you upstairs for bed.

A:  Mommy, is it 8 o'clock?

M:  It's 8:43.  Time for bed.

A:  But mommy, it's not 8 o'clock yet!  When it's 8 o'clock, then it's bedtime.

M:  Ugh.

Go to YouTube and search for "Convos with my 2 year old" (season 3 is 'convos with my 3 year old').  

They're really quite hilarious...and spot on! (and before you say "Oh Allysa, I looked up what you told me to and it was grown men....what's up with that?"...yes, that's the one!) 

What a Difference a Day Can Make

Things have improved at our house dramatically since Saturday!

On Sunday, Dave was still feeling really weak and just generally depressed.  He was still nauseous (though still hadn't actually thrown up yet, so at least there's that).  All he wanted to eat was toast with jelly, jello, and some watered down gatorade.  He spent a good portion of the day upstairs in bed.  He had told me that he wasn't quite sure if the bone pain had set it, or if he was just sore from staying in bed for so long.

My parents brought Aria home late afternoon and that seemed to make Dave feel better.  The first thing she wanted to do was help take care of patient daddy.  Patient daddy needed a checkup and then needed SEVERAL shots to help make him feel better.  Then she started bouncing too much and it was time to go downstairs.  

Around 6 I had texted my boss to let her know Dave was still having a rough time and that I was going to stay home on Monday.  Well wouldn't you know that little bugger started feeling better just a couple hours later!  He wanted to eat dinner...some real dinner.  He sat up in bed just fine and you could visually see the difference.  

Monday morning he was feeling much better.  He wanted a BIG breakfast and wanted to venture out of the house and run some errands.  He quickly realized that he needed fresh air...not stagnant air stuck in a business.  After just two places he was ready to go home.

He had been craving pizza...a big thick greasy pizza.  So that's what we got for dinner.  And then...after eating 3 slices of Pizza Hut pan pizza and 2 breadsticks, he took a Zofran and rested.  Go figure!

Today he wants to go out for dinner (it's Veterans day...free meal!) and then he's going back to work tomorrow.

Vastly different from a couple days ago.  So different.

And now....now I'm just exhausted.  Though I'm sure it doesn't help that I took some sinus medicine last night that I didn't realize would cause drowsiness until after I had already taken it.  I feel like I could just close my eyes....right now...put my head down on the desk...and go to sleep.  Fast asleep.

I need some popcorn (I haven't been allowed to make is as the smell is too much for Dave), some coffee, a nap, and a vacation.  A nice long vacation....something tropical.  Or mountainous.  Or just anywhere not here.

Is It 2015 Yet?

Cisplatin is a dirty bitch.  If you google it, you'll find words and phrases such as "penicillin of chemo drugs", "poisonous", and "severely toxic". The list goes on and on. It's really quite disgusting and horrific.

Some side effects include low white blood cell count, low platelet count, extreme fatigue, loss of hearing, kidney toxicity, nerve toxicity (resulting in neuropathy), nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and all kinds of other horrible things. 

You're not allowed to take other medicines to combat the feeling of these symptoms, aside from phenagran and zofran (anti-nausea). You can't take any NSAIDs, so no ibuprofen, no aleve, no aspirin. 

Cisplatin is made from platinum, so he is literally getting metal injected into his veins.

Etoposide is not nearly as bad.  It's not nearly as toxic and most common side effects are hair loss, nausea, vomiting, mouth sores, and redness of the skin.

These last 48 hours have been the worst. The absolute worst.

My mom came to our house yesterday to pick him up and take him to the VA for his Neulasta shot.  She had told me that when she got here, he struggled to get out of bed and was feeling faint. He went and got his shot, then came right back home and got in the bed. I left work early because I figured he could really use the help.  Upon arriving home and heading upstairs to check on him, I was greeted with anger and a short temper. He snapped at me in the first 10 minutes about what kind of tea he wanted. Super awesome.

I know his pain and discomfort was just coming out as anger, but that doesn't mean that it didn't still get to me. He was like the cranky old man at the nursing home that scares all the nurses away. He's just angry about the whole damn thing right now. I don't blame him....but I wish he'd realize that anger isn't going to help. 

By the end of the night, I was fed up. I had resigned myself to being there for his health, but I wasn't going to subject myself to anything else. If he needed some water, or jello, or needed the fan turned up or down, I was there. But if he just wanted somebody to be in the room with him....no, I wasn't doing that. I ended up sleeping on the couch because I just couldn't go back in that room if I wasn't directly needed. It's not that I was looking for a "good job taking care of me, honey" or a "thank you"... I just wanted a little respect.  I'm doing everything I can to help, and I don't deserve to be yelled at.

Today he's much better (attitude anyway). He wanted toast, jelly, jello, and some watered down gatorade for breakfast.  After eating, he made his way to the shower. He then went back to bed for several hours. He came down around 4 and wanted the rest of his sandwich from Thursday. By the time he went back upstairs, he had finished off his entire bottle of Gatorade and the last of his sandwich.  He still is not experiencing any bone pain, but that may still be coming.

I helped him get upstairs and get settled in bed at 7. He then talked about how this has been the absolute worst 24 hours. He mentioned that his nurse said every cycle will be worse than the one before it. "I've got two more cycles...how will I ever get through them?" 

I don't know, honey. I don't know.

I thought taking care of a child by myself was the hardest thing I've ever endured. Guess what? This is so much harder. It's hard for me, its hard for Aria....and it's the absolute hardest on Dave. 

This whole damn thing sucks.  This year can't end soon enough.