Just for my brother :)
A Lesson on Permission
A: **goofing off at table while at dinner and sitting next to Grandma**
G: Aria, please sit nice.
A: **still goofing off**
M: Aria, knock it off, or I'm going to tell Grandma to pop you!
A: **still goofing off**
G: Aria, stop that! **pops Aria on the thigh**
A: Ouch! Hey Grandma, my mommy didn't say you could pop me yet!
A Lesson on Wants (this is something I wrote down when Aria was two and a half) at "Mexican Monday" for dinner
*waiter puts bowl of shredded cheese for my brother on table in front of Aria instead*
M: No Bunny, that's not your cheese, that's Uncle Will's cheese.
*hands bowl of cheese to Will*
A: No, that's my cheese!
M: Maybe if you ask Uncle Will real nice, he'll give you some.
A: No! My cheese!
M: Aria, you have to ask him real nice and he'll give you some.
A: *in total Milton from Office space style* No, I'll get it myself.
*This little turd got out of her chair, walked around the table, asked to be picked up by Papa Gerald (who was sitting next to Uncle Will) and proceeded to lean forward until her hand collided with cheese*
A Lesson on Labor and Delivery Gone Wrong (or the night my child asked a thousand questions I was unprepared to answer)
*while watching an episode of ER*
A: Mommy, what's happening to that lady?
M: She's having a baby, honey.
A: Well what's wrong with her?
M: She's sick so the baby has to come out now.
A: What's wrong with that baby?
M: The baby looks like he's stuck. His shoulder is stuck and they're trying to get him out.
A: Why is he stuck?
M: Because his shoulders are too big, honey.
A: What are the doctors doing now?
M: They're trying to push the baby back in because it's too big to come out, so they have to do surgery to get the baby out a different way.
A: A different way?
M: Mm hmm, they have to cut open the mommy's belly to get the baby out that way.
A: Why is that lady bleeding so much?
M: Because something happened during the surgery and she's bleeding.
A: What are the doctors doing?
M: Getting the baby out.
A: Why is that baby blue?
M: Because that baby isn't breathing yet.
A: Why isn't that little baby crying?
M: I don't know, honey.
A: What's that doctor doing on top of that mommy?
M: He's putting his hand inside of her belly to try to stop the bleeding.
A: Where's the baby going?
M: To be with some better doctors who can help that baby.
A: But why isn't the mommy going? Who's going to go with that baby?
M: The daddy is going to go with the baby.
A: Well then who's going to stay with the mommy? What's going to happen to her?
M: I don't know, honey. My, you sure are full of questions tonight.
A: Yeah, I know.
A Lesson on Frustration
M: I'm sorry Aria...mommy's not really mad at you, I'm just frustrated.
A: Why are you frustrated?
M: I just am, dear.
A: You know what Daniel Tiger's mommy says to do when you're frustrated? She says "You need to take a step back and ask for help."
M: That's good advice honey.
A: Let me see you take a step back.
M: Mommy is busy right now and I'll take a step back later.
A: You don't know how? Want me to show you how to take a step back? It's real easy. And then you ask for help. You can ask me for help, mommy. I'll help you.
A Lesson on Lack of Play Dates
A: Mommy, when will we go back to Matt and Graham's house?
M: I don't know, honey. Mommy and Ms. Beth have been real busy lately and haven't had much time for play dates.
A: Oh. I miss play dates. When can we go back to Hoppy Feet?
M: I'm not sure honey. Not for a while because you have two more weeks of swim lessons coming up next week.
M: But summer is coming and I'm sure we'll be able to have lots of play dates real soon.
A: Yay! I want to have a play date at Matt and Graham's house...and I want to have a play date at Hoppy Feet... and I want to have a park play date (but only at the park that Matt and Graham go to, we have to be at the same park) ... and I want to have a beach play date. Do you know what a beach play date is, mommy? It's when we have a play date at the beach!
M: I'll see what I can do, honey.