Dave always says that I live like we're poor, even though we're not. The problem is that we've been in a situation before when we WERE poor and I think it traumatized me so much that I exist in a constant state of fear of being there again.
Back when Dave lost his job with Schneider, we were unprepared financially for that kind of loss. We had never really started saving yet and I hadn't realized exactly how much we really depended on him. Even though he had found another job within a week or two and had started work, we had a few months without that extra paycheck coming in. Not only did we lose that paycheck, but we also lost the health coverage. Aria was still little and going to the doctor often for checkups and illness because, lets face it, babies in daycare are sick every week and go to the doctor a lot to make sure it's just a cold and not something more serious. In the three months it took to get new insurance, Aria had been to the doctor at least three times for an illness ($95 office visit fee for non-insured patients) and had one routine checkup with several vacciness ($500 for visit + vaccines). That was $500 we didn't have. We had rent...car payment...utility bills...student loan bills...and our only income was my 30 hour a week paycheck
We had depleted every little bit of what we had, had maxed out our two credit cards paying for things like groceries and diapers, and now had $600 in medical bills to worry about. Our utility bills were overdue...and I had already begun asking my parents for help. We had, in my opinion, hit rock bottom. So much so to the point that I put aside my pride and called the Department of Health to enroll in WIC. The lady on the phone told me that our income level had to be that low for a rolling 30 days, so because he had just lost his job a week ago, we did not meet qualifications. By the 30 day deadline, he had already found work and was receiving paychecks, thereby increasing our income to be above the WIC limit, so we were not eligible.
It took a LONG time come back from that. Before we could start saving money, we had to pay our debts that we had...for our bills and to my parents. Once that was caught up, we had to move on to paying down our credit cards.
I told myself then that we would NEVER be in that situation again and I would save every little bit of money we could. With that mentality, we were able to eventually pay everything off and fix our credit enough to buy a house and a new car when mine started acting up. We had bounced back 10 fold and were on the right path again.
Fast forward several years to 2014 when cancer struck. Dave was inconsistently working for four months and I was working less hours to help take care of him. BUT...because of the savings we had built up, we made it through that period with my only having to ask my mom for help on one phone bill. We were able to cover the rest. And what we couldn't cover with the savings we were able to cover with the credit cards that had very low balances. Sure, we ended up running up the credit cards, but in my opinion, that was an OK reason to run them up...buying groceries and gas and essential life needs.
We're still in "recovery" from that period...the credit cards are paid down by half and our savings is growing again. BUT...because I know how quickly life can change, I still worry about not having enough to cover.....life. So no, I don't like to spend money on things I don't NEED. I get buyer's remorse just from buying groceries. I almost never buy anything for myself and I give Dave a really hard time any time he says he wants to buy something, whether it be expensive or cheap...a want or a need.
That being said, that doesn't mean that I don't dream about spending money. There's lots of things that I'd like to buy, but most likely never will...because I can't fathom spending the money if I don't absolutely NEED to. Here are a few things I dream about buying....
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| Kitchenaid 5-burner electric double convection oven >> HERE |
Our less-than-5-year-old Frigidaire oven that came with the house is a piece of crap. There's a switch of some sort on the back that's attached to the front-right burner and it sounds like it's shorting out every time the burner comes on. We will eventually replace all our crappy Frigidaire appliances with nice new beautiful non-crappy ones. THIS is the oven that I want! It's $2,000 and it's beautiful. The only drawback is that, because it's a double oven, it doesn't utilize Kitchenaid's new "Aqualift" self-cleaning technology (cleans the oven in less than 200° with water and steam instead of setting the inside of the oven on fire for five hours). One day maybe.
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| San Angelo Swivel Glider Recliner >> HERE |
When we picked out our living room set, we were still in the apartment and didn't realize we'd be buying a house so soon. Now, our living room set doesn't really suit our current living room. I want to be like old people and have two recliners...two recliners that swivel 360°! This is what I want! Whenever we go hang out at Rooms-to-Go, I like to spend time sitting and relaxing in this chair. The leather isn't that sticky kind that holds onto your legs. The swivel is effortless, and the chair itself is SO comfortable. I just love it and really REALLY want it...at $450 a piece....it'll have to wait.
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| I apparently don't have a picture of my backyard...but here you can see all the trees behind the fence |
There's an AWFUL grade to our backyard. So much so that there isn't even one flat spot big enough for Aria's kiddie pool. Also, we have quite a bit of land that's ours behind our fence...down a big slope and into the woods. What I REALLY want is to pay somebody to come flatten my backyard and then also move my fence to give me the rest of my property (cleared, of course). That would be ideal. If we decided to stay in the house, we're going to have to invest the money in this project....we just have to. Also, while they're at my yard...they might as well go ahead and install me a french drain by my front door for all the water that flows off the roof right there. We've never even gotten an estimate on this project...but I just know it's going to be thousands and thousands of dollars and it will probably make me physically ill to commit :(
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| Swim Spa >> HERE |
Wouldn't it be nice to buy one of these after getting the yard redone? It's a swim spa! There's lots of different kinds and different sizes, but I like this one. I can't seem to find the price online for this one...but other places have different models for $15-20K. YIKES!! That's nearly the price of a car. But come on, look at it! It's a hot tub and a heated swimming pool all in one! What could possible be better than that? Just one more thing I'll keep dreaming about. To be honest, I'd settle for a 2-person hot tub...but sadly those cost, too...and I probably won't fork out the money for that, either, not even the $400 inflatable one.
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| Sleep Number FlexTop King i10 mattress on a FlexFit 2 base >> HERE |
Dave and I have decided that the next bed we buy will be a Sleep Number. The flex base lifts the head and feet so you can achieve a zero-gravity feel with no pressure on your back or knees. The mattress has a half-split so both people don't need to be using the same sleep position. The mattress also has special temperature-regulating layers so it feels cool even in the summer. The base and mattress together cost over $8,000...and that's not including the furniture to actually HIDE the base. Luckily, we just bought a new mattress...so that should give us about 10 years to save up for this sucker. We probably won't get it though...I can't imagine spending that much money on a bed.
And of course there are the (in my opinion) obvious things....Macbook Pro (complete with full Adobe suite), iPad Pro (complete with new iPad pen), new lenses for my camera, shiny new cars, culinary lessons, a vacation home in Italy, hire professionals to repaint every room in my house (and redo my kitchen and bathroom to suit my needs..and fix the spot where Soph chewed the wood on a windowsill...and fix the spot where Little Man tore up the carpet because he got locked in the closet for 8 hours), hire a professional landscaper and yard crew to make (and keep) my yard looking exactly how I want it all year round, pay for Sophie's cataract surgery for BOTH of her eyes....and many other numerous items that I'll also never buy because I refuse to waste our money on those things.
To be honest...I'd rather live like I'm poor and have the ability to buy the things we need when we need them than to frivolously spend all of the money and then we're left up the creek when shit hits the fan.
Have a great weekend...it's nice to have a reprieve from the hot weather this weekend thanks to the hurricane (which turned and won't be dumping nearly as much rain on us as previously though)...but it will sadly be back up into the 80s again next week. Blech.
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