The Battle: Convos With My Kid

The Sunday before picture day, Aria and I went to Target to pick out a cute outfit. She was extra excited because we were shopping in the "big girl" department. She spent most of the time trying to piss me off by moving around the racks where I couldn't see her, but she helped pick out her outfit.

The outfit chosen was a teal skirt with some darker hearts on it (she picked the skirt), a lavender camisole (she picked the color), and dark grey crop shirt to go over the whole thing. I showed her, SEVERAL times how the outfit would be constructed .... she repeatedly told me how much she loved it and how cute it was.

Fast forward two days to the morning of picture day, 6:20 AM.

On a typical day, I get her up at 6:20, we're downstairs by 6:30, we leave by 6:40/45. I have to be at work by 7:30

M: Aria honey, it's time to get up....today's picture day!
A: ....
M: Aria....come on honey, it's time to wake up. We have to get you ready for picture day!
A: *squirm*
M: Come on now Aria, it's time to get up, we've got to get moving. *pull the blanket off*
A: *squirm and stretch, snuggle up with Giraffe, reach for blanket*
M: Aria. I'm not kidding, it's time to get up. *mildly yanks blanket off*
A: Ugh! Mom, no. *reaches for blanket and pulls over head*
M: Alright Aria, I'm done. Time to get up! *pulls Giraffe off bed, yanks blanket down past her feet*
A: Mom! I'm cold! I'm still sleepy!!
M: Too bad Aria...we get up at this time every morning, it's time to get up.
A: Uh, I don't wanna!
M: Too bad! Today's picture day. You have to get up, get dressed in your pretty picture day outfit, and mommy has to do something with your hair.
A: Fine. (6:30 AM)
M: *jam jams off, puts socks on, puts skirt on, puts purple camisole on*....*puts grey crop shirt on*
A: Mom! I don't like it! I don't wanna wear it! *tries to take crop shirt off*
M: Aria! What are you doing? Knock it off, this is what you're wearing today.
A: NO! It's not cute and I don't like it! *still trying to take shirt off*
M: Aria Lucy! Stop that right now! You're wearing this shirt today! And it's extremely cute...you helped pick it out!
A: NO! I don't like it! Grandma said it's OK to just wear tank tops to school! I don't have to wear it and I'm not going to! *finally gets crop shirt off*
M: ARIA! KNOCK IT OFF! You're wearing this shirt today! I don't care what Grandma says about wearing tank tops to school, today you're wearing a shirt over it! I showed you over and over at Target how this was going to look, and you said it was cute!
A: It's NOT! I don't like it! It's GREY! Grey is a boy color and I DON'T LIKE BOY COLORS!!
M: Oh my God, Aria! This is ridiculous! You knew what color the shirt was on Sunday when we bought it! You said it was cute! Besides, you have plenty of other grey shirts! *tries to cram shirt back over her head* (6:40 AM)
A: NO! They're different! I don't like it! *blocks the shirt*
M: DAMMIT ARIA, YOU'RE WEARING THIS SHIRT! *crams back over head*
A: NO!! I DON'T WANNA!
M: Aria! Come on now. You just have to wear it until the pictures, then you can take it off.
A: *sobbing now* TEACHER WON'T LET US TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF!!
M: Oh my goodness, Aria. You're wearing this shirt. Mommy's very mad right now...and late...and you're being a real pain in the rear. Now put on this shirt!
A: FINE! *succeeds in getting shirt back on*
M: Thank you. (SWEET VICTORY!) Now turn around so we can do your hair. Do you want it in a bun or a pony or half up/half down...it's for picture day, so it has to look nice.
A: Hmph. I don't care.
M: Aria...don't be like that. How do you want your hair?
A: I'm mad, so I don't care.
M: FINE! A pony it is! HOLD STILL!
A: *squirm squirm squirm* ..... *manages lopsided pony*
M: You wouldn't hold still, so it's crooked...too bad, we're late! (6:50 AM)

That little brat walked downstairs "hmph"ing the whole way.

M: Aria, what do you want to have for snack on the way to school? Hurry up and think fast, we're late.
A: A bagel.
M: No. I told you we were late...you get muffins!
A: FINE!
M: Do you want apple juice?
A: Yes.
M: Let's take a picture real quick for Grandma...she always likes to see how cute you are on picture day.
A: Well I'm not cute today, so no.
M: Come on Aria...Grandma is going to want to see your cute outfit!
A: It's not cute, but fine. She can only see the back, though...because it's not cute and I'm mad!
M: Fine...I'll take it. We're late anyway.

I pulled out of the driveway that day at 7:00 AM. We didn't talk much on the way to school. She didn't race me to the door like she usually does. She gave me a hug and kiss goodbye, but wasn't her typical self. I left out of there convinced one of several things would be true for the rest of the day:

1. By the time I went to pick her up, there'd be no grey shirt.

2. When I got her pictures back, there'd be no grey shirt.

3. When I got her pictures back, there'd be a grey shirt, but she'd look pissed.

I was 22 minutes late for work that day.

When I went to pick her up...she was in a good mood...had her grey shirt still on...and the preview of her pictures had her grey shirt AND a smile. We took the grey shirt off at home...and she made sure to inform me.... "mommy, the only person who said I looked cute was the picture lady, and she tells everybody they look cute."

Brat.