Convos With My Kid

I realized yesterday, on one of our rousing after-school car rides, that it's been a while since I posted one of these....so enjoy!
A Lesson on Pre-Birth Toys
A:  Mommy, what kind of toys did I have when I was baby?
M:  You had baby toys...rings and blocks and stuff.
A:  But what about what kind of toys did I have before I was born?
M:  Uh...what?
A:  When I was still in your tummy...didn't I have toys to play with?
M:  Oh....no dear, there weren't any toys in mommy's tummy.
A:  Well what did I do?
M:  Uh.....you slept a lot and flips and stuff.
A:  Oh...am I still taking gymnastics class soon?  I love to do flips!
M: (grateful for the change of subject)...Yes dear, you sure are!

Lessons on Heaven
**Let me preface this by saying that while Dave and I aren't religious and we're choosing not to educate Aria in organized religion just yet, we do teach her about Heaven.  Not the religious beliefs that go with it, but just as a nice place to go when you die.

In talking about yesterday's early morning house fire
A:  Mommy, what happened at that fire we saw this morning?
M:  I don't know honey.  The family made it out safe, but their dog didn't.
A:  Well what happened to him?
M:  He didn't make it out of the house after it caught on fire and he died.
A:  He got all burned up and then he died?  Did he go to Heaven?
M:  He probably did get burned when he died and yes, he did go to Heaven.
A:  Well mommy....how did he get to Heaven? How do we get to Heaven?
M:  Um.....Well, when we die, our bodies stay here to get buried, but our souls...the very part of us that makes up who we are...goes to Heaven.
A:  But how do our souls GET to Heaven?
M:  Well...it just sort of floats up all by itself.
A:  Oh.  I don't want to go to Heaven.
M:  Sure you do!  It's the best place to be!
A:  But you have to die to get there and I don't want to die.
M:  (oh jeepers)...Everybody dies, honey.  When people get old and have lived a wonderful life and they've done everything they want to do, they die.  Or sometimes when people get really really sick and they just can't go on anymore, they die.
A:  But mommy, you're old and you're not dying and going to Heaven....

In talking about thunder
A:  I'm scared of the thunder!
M:  It's OK to be scared of that thunder honey, it is loud...but do you know what thunder is?
A:  I know it goes with lightning.
M:  That's right!  But did you know that when you hear thunder, it's actually just somebody up in Heaven bowling?
A:  Bowling?  I didn't know that!  I've never been bowling...but I'm not scared of it!
M:  Good!  So every time you hear thunder, you just think about those people up in Heaven bowling.  Sometimes it's really loud and that's when they knock all the pins down...and sometimes it's quieter and that's when they only knock a few pins down.
A:  Mommy!  Did you hear that thunder?? It was just little, so somebody up in Heaven isn't a very good bowler today.

A Lesson on Healthy Food Options
A:  Mommy, did you know that lettuce is good for you?  It looks like leaves on a tree and we eat it in salads!  Did you know that?
M:  That's right...lettuce is good for you.
A:  You know what else is good for you and tastes really yummy and I like to eat it?  ACORNS!
M:  Really?  Are you a squirrel?  Only squirrels eat acorns you goof!
A:  No mommy, I'm not a squirrel, but I eat acorns!  They're yummy!
M:  Um, what?
A:  Acorns mommy, they're so tasty.
M:  Um, you eat acorns?
A:  I do! I like them!
M:  What do you mean you eat them and like them?  Where do you eat acorns?
A:  At school!
M:  Aria!  You can't eat acorns!  First of all, they're not food, second of all, they're really hard and will break your teeth!  And third, you can't just pick things off the ground and eat them...they could make you sick!!
A:  Well they're not hard after you crack them.  I don't eat the hard part, just the black part in the middle.  It's not so hard.
M:  Oh my god. What do you mean you crack them?!
A:  With my shoe.  I step on them on the concrete and they crack and then I eat the black part in the middle.  It's tasty.
M:  No Aria....please don't eat any more acorns.  No more acorns!  Don't eat ANYTHING you see on the ground!
A:  OK.  Well the other day I found something round and white that looked like a berry, but I didn't eat it because I thought maybe it was a marble.
M:  Oh my god!  Don't eat anything you find on the ground!! If you even think you want to eat it, ask a grown up first!!

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