A while back I posted an entry called "Some Truth". I feel like it's time to add some more to that :)
2. The summer before my Junior year of high school I got super-serious about my body because, in my opinion, I was not only the heaviest person in my ballet class, but was also the heaviest among my friends. My self-image was apparently at an all-time low and I decided to do something about it. Every night I spent hours doing sit-ups and crunches in my room. I kept a notebook that detailed how many of each I did. I remember doing over 100 sit-ups a night (yes, I used to be able to do that) and doing 200+ crunches. I wasn't satisfied if my overall number was less than 300. I also remember lying on the floor on my back and resting a ruler across my pelvis. My goal: to have that ruler touch my pelvic bones before touching the fat in the middle. I remember I accomplished my goal, but still felt dissatisfied with myself...and that feeling has never gone away (but obviously I can't touch a ruler to my hip bones anymore).
3. There's a trend among people from my generation (and subsequent generations) about only doing the bare minimum to get a job done. That does NOT apply to me. I've never just done the bare minimum (except maybe with housework). When I do a task, I want it done efficiently, effectively, and, above all, correct! If I do something, I take ownership of it. I'm doing it, my name is on it, and I care about what that name means. I don't want it to be associated with "lazy" or "half-assed". I want that name to be associated with hard work and, when possible, perfection! I take pride in what I do...whether it be a task at work, a task at home, or even just cooking dinner. And yes, I LIKE to get a gold star on my projects! Tell me my dinner is good! Tell me I did a great job! I don't need to hear thank-you's, just tell me I did well. I love to hear it!
4. I'm totally one of those women who expects my husband to be a mind reader. I expect him to see things through my eyes. If I see something needs to be done, I expect him to see that same thing and to go ahead and get it done. If I'm upset, I expect him to know why I'm upset without me having to tell him. I mean, he knows what he did....right?
5. I'm so terrified of not having enough money to pay for the bills (even though we totally have it) that I absolutely hate to spend money, even on necessities. And because of that, I almost NEVER buy anything for myself. I have ONE pair of work pants. That's right, one. I have ONE pair of jeans that currently fit. I have exactly FIVE shirts that I wear to work. I have ONE pair of shoes that I wear to work and I have ONE pair of flops that I wear when I'm not at work. One reason for this is that fat girl clothes cost so much more than regular people clothes. I can't just go to Target and buy a cute little $10 shirt. I can't just go to Old Navy and buy $20 pants. I have to go to fat people stores where jeans cost $50+, shirts for work are $20+. And as many times as I've gone looking for clothes at TJMaxx / Marshall's / Ross, it's apparent that their buyers only buy fat peoples for old ladies. So I don't go shopping for myself for clothes because a work-acceptable outfit will cost at least $70. That's stupid. I don't buy other things for myself (like the Cuisinart Griddler that was on sale at Costco for $49.99 this weekend that I've been wanting since we registered for our wedding) because I can't justify spending money on something I don't absolutely NEED. I spent $9 on some more silicone measuring spoons and then felt bad about it because really I didn't NEED new ones...my broken teaspoon would still be find for dropping cookie dough. I get buyers remorse with everything...even groceries. It's ridiculous, I know. The only thing I spend money on without a care in the world is books...and lets be honest, I totally don't NEED any more books!
So there you are, five more truth's about me :)
Today I'm spending my day with a fresh-ish bouquet of blush pink peonies on my desk at work that I bought for myself at Kroger yesterday. I told Dave they were from him because he never got me peonies for Mother's Day like I wanted. But, of course, he wouldn't have known that because I didn't tell him beforehand that I wanted pink peonies...I expected him to know this already.